Real Blogger

‘The Bachelor’ On The Wings of Love: Bungee jump kisses

After last week’s Rozlyn scandal, what could be in store for The Bachelor this week? With this show, you know it’s going to be crazy. Jake goes on some solo dates, has a girl eliminate herself, and has another tease him and then wonder why he thinks she’s teasing him. On to the recap:

• Some girls look completely different without makeup. Elle and Jessie still looked great. Tenley, not so much. You don’t marry the face at 9 p.m. You marry the face you see at 6 a.m.
• Vienna, who seems fun if not a little cross-eyed, gets a solo date; Ali, who had one last week, is jealous. Not jealous: Rozlyn. She’s got a man.
• A consistent ‘Bachelor’ problem: They attribute all the romance to the guy, when its the show that plans the dates. Jake didn’t randomly decide, hey, let’s go on a helicopter ride.
• Michelle has a tramp stamp.
• Bungee jumping is a decent idea for a date. If she can take a risk like that with you, maybe there’s compatibility to get through real-life risky situations. That doesn’t mean I’d make a girl jump off a bridge with me, but I understand … It looks like Jake is being the girly one, and Vienna is trying to be strong. At least he manned up and kissed her Spiderman style after they jumped. By the way, the pilot has a fear of heights?
• “I think he’ll see what the girls in the house are seeing,” Tenley says of Vienna. She meant her sometimes off-putting personality. But what Jake’s looking at right now is Vienna in a bikini. I don’t think he could care less about the personality. Vienna gets the first rose.
• Group date: Michelle is already complaining she doesn’t get one-on-one time. The group is at a comedy club, featuring Jon Lovitz (random!), and they have to do a comedy routine. If they are just themselves, the unintentional comedy will be sky high.
• Gia and Ella, the early faves, and Valishia aren’t invited on the group date. That sound you hear is the world’s smallest violin. But Ella gets a solo date, anyway.
• Ashleigh cracks under pressure and starts crying before she goes on. Ali tells a poop joke. Jessie calls her family fat. Tenley puts her legs behind her head. Elizabeth tells (funny) dirty jokes. Kathryn tricks Jake into kissing her. Michelle tells (horrible) dirty jokes, including a reference to a hole in one. Corrie rips on her housemates, including a rip on Vienna for trash-talking the other girls - a well-played move. Ashleigh tells blond jokes.
• Tenley tells her BIG SECRET to Jake … that she was married and the guy cheated on her, the guy that she had saved herself for. Jake looks slightly terrified. But not so terrified that he doesn’t kiss her. Ashleigh rips on Vienna - “I have nothing in common with her” - and Jake is confused why everyone hates Vienna. Speaking of hate, Vienna calls Gia fake, back at the house. So she does the next logical thing. She writes Jake a letter.
• Kiss count: Three, after Jakes kisses Ali. Crazy count: Two, after Michelle flipped out on Ali. Best line of the night, from Elizabeth: “I really don’t think she needs a husband. She needs a therapist.” Michelle corners Jake into kissing her; he looks as reluctant as a seventh-grade boy at a dance. Then she tells him that kiss wasn’t good enough, and she wants to leave the show. In an amazing, “you’re a psycho” move, she then says she’ll stay if Jake wants her to. Of course, he says no because she’s being weird. Then she gets mad at him. Wow. Don’t lose sleep over that one, Jakey.
• Ella’s solo date: I love her accent, but then again, my girlfriend has a Southern accent, so I’m biased. Hey Jake, you might want to try something other than flannel some time. Just a thought. Oh, look, another helicopter date. Woo. But he makes up for it by bringing Ella’s kid for her birthday present. Ella is becoming even more likable. The three spend time at Sea World, and Ella is loving watching Jake with her son, even though it’s so early on. Her son is probably wondering why mommy is hugging the strange man with the cameras around her. Kiss count: Five
• Elizabeth still doesn’t want Jake to kiss her, but she wants a backrub later … and tells dirty jokes … and is wearing a low-cut dress … and is stroking his tie. As Jake says, she’s the “Queen of Mixed Signals.” He obviously thinks she’s hot - Elizabeth is one sexy lady - but isn’t happy with the, shall we say, cold shower treatment. Elizabeth is bewildered why Jake would think she’s playing games. I mean, all she’s doing is teasing him and confusing him with double standards.
• Getting roses: Gia, Corrie (who both spent almost no time with him.. which goes to show the women make too big of a deal out of it), Tenley, Ali, Jessie, Kathryn and Ashleigh. Valishia, who he never seemed to care about, and Elizabeth, who overplayed her hand, are out.

P.S. It turns out the promos that mentioned Tenley saying she was pregnant were just a joke she was playing on Jake; ABC decided to remove the scene, according to this site.

P.S.S. A lot of people are wondering if Ali had a little nipple slip in her bikini. I didn’t see it at first, but I’m pretty sure I saw it on second look, a few minutes in when she’s on the bed. I’m surprised ABC showed that- you’d think they’d be worried about censoring. No, I don’t have a photo of it, because this isn’t that type of blog, but I’m sure someone else does.